I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
