I'm pants shitting drunk right now
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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