We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
