yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
