he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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