It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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