even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
