she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I use my feet as sexual weapons
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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