I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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