so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
