THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I need to sanitize my soul.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
