don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
