There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
