I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Randomize
