What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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