Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
how does that bad decision feel?
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Randomize
