I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Text me some of your sweat
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
