Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
She's the barista slut.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Randomize
