yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
