See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
And then he peed in my hair
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