evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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