oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
