I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
