apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
