i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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