Quick, to the slutcave!
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
