you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Randomize
