I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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