I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
third nipple confirmed
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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