brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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