Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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