Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
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