She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
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