I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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