Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Buhtt sex?
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Randomize
