she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Randomize
