yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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