physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
