Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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