I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
you never un-have a 4some
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Randomize
