if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
