3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
