I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
