dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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