Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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