They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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