im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
