hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
