i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
