he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
