hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Randomize
