We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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