that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
