I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize