Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
