a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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