The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
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