Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize
