one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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