two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
