She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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