I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
