Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I bet he comes in French.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
