There was a lot of him and a little penis
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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