used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
