I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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