At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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