he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize
