Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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