she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
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