its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Randomize
