It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Randomize