Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
did i walk over a car last night?
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Randomize
