I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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