There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Randomize