She's JV to your varsity
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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