Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I yelled at your uterus for you.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
