i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Randomize
